Goodbye Old Friend
by KillerCuppycake
Summary: This is a heart breaker about what would have happened to the family if Jordan would not have come back from the surgery.
1. Here but gone

Garrett sat with his head leaning on a loose fist. His eyes looked on not seeing any change in her condition. His face wore his pain, eyes rimmed red from crying in the darkness of the hospital room at night. His stubble was thick and jagged and the gray had chased away the color in many strands. He knew what she would want but he couldn't let her go yet. Her machines offered no indications that could help void the decision to be made. He stood and stroked softly through her hair.

"Jordan." He slid strands behind her ear, "J-Jordan." Garrett did his best to stifle a sob. "I need you to come out of this. Please, now is not the time to be defiant." He leaned in and kissed her forehead. "I love you."

He sat again at her side. His body was weakening from the lack of sustenance he was offering to sustain it while he spent days sitting, sleeping, and waiting at Jordan's bedside. He took small amounts of what the others offered to him to calming their fears of his body dehydrating and him getting to weak. His heart hurt every time he thought of making the awful choice about her not waking up. He couldn't but he promised. He thought of what to do and with whom around. They were friends, no, she was family. He would make sure family would say goodbye. And St Anne's near her mother; St Anne's. Bug and Nigel came back in the late afternoon. They attempted to let Garrett be relieved of watch but he just offered his seat to the younger men and rested against the wall near the door. Resting his head back on the cool hospital wall like that's all he needed.

The doctor rapped at the window. Garrett stood and walked to the door. "Dr. Macy, things are not where they should be concerning her brain activity. She is not responding." Garrett looked opposite of the window to Jordan's room. "What are you telling me?!" He forced out for fear that he had already grasped the doctor's score. "If she wakes up she will not be the same woman, I am sorry, very sorry Dr. Macy." Garrett lost composure. He silently moaned in furious heartbreak, he couldn't breathe. Falling against the glass, hearing the click of glass splitting beneath, he lifted his head revealing a small amount of blood falling into spider cracks that the doc had created. Hand on his face he walked back to the door, "Can we discuss options about this later doctor?" "Yes, yeah. Would you let me patch that?"

"I'm fine." Garrett entered the room and lowered the half drawn shades, they needed privacy. He needed it quiet and close knit. Walking over to the bed his eyes not even stinging as the tears began to flow. Bug and Nigel looked on in fear since it was too rare to see their boss this way. "Dr. M what did he say?" Nigel asked the alarm in his voice palpable. "It's time to fold, he just made that clear." "What? What does that mean Dr. Macy?" Bug questioned not understanding what was going on in his superior's head. "She won't be here if she wakes up. We lost her." He leaned down and kissed her forehead, tears and small blood droplets fell to the side of Jordan's pillow. Garrett swiped them away, smearing them to her pillow. He gently lifted her lulled head and took away the stained pillow. Being stuck in the daze, Garrett was too departed to notice the panic and despair the other two men had begun. Bug was questioning it all but to no one, just really ranting on with questions. Nigel had crumbled onto the side of the bed. Crying and lying on her left leg, shaking her leg and squeezing his eyes shut hoping as hard as his mind could process; "Jordan, wake up." No change. He stood his vision blurry he just stumbled back against the room wall looking at Macy standing over Jordan. He sent his hands through his sleek black hair not knowing what to do. They needed something, they needed her. Just come back Jordan. The hour seems to go by with the men in an awful trance of losing themselves in the terrible news. Finally the boss man sat in the seat he had constantly occupied at the side of the sleeping beauty's bed.

Time to act; he picked his phone from his pocket.

"Woodie, you need to get to the hospital. I need your help." Woodie began to stammer out a confirmation of yes as he headed for his car. Not even twenty five minutes to make it to the hospital. He went to the nurse's station asking for the Cavanaugh room. Directed to the end of the hall he entered the room Bug sat on the floor with his knees to his chest. His head was down but he was awake. Nigel had received a little sedative after riling himself into a panic attack. He lay on the small hospital couch in the room, his long limbs hanging over the end and his body sadly thrashing. Woodie walked to the other side of the bed from Garrett. He looked at him holding Jordan's small hands between his own. He was so gentle Woodie looked at how she slept, her head imprinting on the pillow and was taken to a fantasy he had of her leaving her imprint on his pillow and her scent in his covers, on him. He looked at Macy and his whole mental picture cracked and turned dark. The man seemed to have aggressively aged in that hospital room, he looked so tired.

"Hey Garrett?"

"Woodie, she is gone. Jordan didn't make it through the surgery and I need you to track down her father. I can't leave."

Woodrow stood wide eyed looking between the doctor and the patient. "What do you mean? She is here. The monitors are beeping. What do you mean?" "Her brain activity has declined no response to stimuli. The Jordan you know is gone." Woodie began cycling through the last time he saw and spoke to Jordan. Why hadn't he said he loved her? Why was he so scared? Why was there no more time? "Dr. Macy…" Woodie's voice pleaded. Bug stood and looked at the officer. "Shut up you ass! You didn't even see her before she went; you haven't been here till it was too late to matter. You should have been here for her. You should have come to see her off. But don't come now to be upset that we will never see her again." Woodie stood slumped in place and took a deep breath before whispering his goodbye into her ear and kissing her cheek.

"I will find him Dr. Macy."


	2. Dad's back

Woodie went back down to his police issue vehicle and took a deep breath before collapsing in disbelief on his steering wheel. Tears and gasps covered shirt, his mind did not think of anything but he being gone which just made the tears flow until the man sat his head back up. His cheeks flushed and flooded with the salty droplets and a headache. He wanted to sleep and cry some more but he knew that he needed to keep going. He went to his office and looked for any leads he could through out to find Max without getting a tail put on him. He rummaged in his office before thinking of how he had caught Jordan contacting her dad when they were on the outs. He drove to their house and snuck into a back window. He looked for the phone in the kitchen and now another problem. The number. Where would Maxx hide a phone number for his daughter? The officer paced in front of the sink near the phone where Maxx's larger self used to inhabit. He looked out of the window and let his mind just rush and wonder. Jordan likes to leave herself notes on the bottom of things.

Used to.

He pushed away the thought that he would now be thinking of her and all facts about her in past tense.

He began lifting things on the counter; the dish drain, decorative dishes, flour pail, and finally sugar dish. Ten digits and a heart Dad. He picked up the receiver and dialed the number. The phone rang and rang and one more ring then Woodie hung up. He redialed. One ring, another, then a brogue voice "Jordan?" "Max?! It's Woodie. Jordan is in the hospital. We need you to come." "Where?!" The father quickly disconnected the call. And the officer looked around the cold house and thought of all the love and anger these walls have experienced. He sat at the mahogany table and allowed it all to soak in some of his sadness. He began to cry again.

Max burst into the room with the other men still despondent but acceptant of the fate of their Jordan. Max looked at his little girl. She was not a woman now, she was his injured little girl but he knew a hug and a kiss could not make this better but he tried anyway. His largeness covered her bed as her peppered her forehead with kisses and tears. Max looked at Garrett. The men had only hopelessness to trade with one another. Garrett had thought of what to do to keep his promise but in a perfect world she would wake up before he delivered the air embolism. She wonder make some inappropriate comment about sticking it to her just like she asked, they would laugh and cry and keep going. Sadly in the reality the laughter step was being left out, they could only cry and keep going.

The horrible day turned to a quiet night only the breaths and sighs interacted in the air with the machine beeps. "Bug? Please call Lily. I think we should start everything. Jordan wouldn't want to drag this part out." The sad friend nodded. And the day silently concludes.


	3. Time of death

By lunch of the next day the room seemed so crowded with her small family. Max and Garrett headed the meeting of minds to prepare to say goodbye. Lily held tightly to Bug's arm her bohemian top damp with tears. He seemed like a person sized stone. He kept his face forward and stoic. He was honestly tired of crying he wanted to give his last efforts of strength to the strongest woman he knew. Nigel stood wearily next to Garrett. Drugged up and sobbing still through the entire affair. Woodie stood slightly alone near the foot of the bed. Feeling incredibly guilty for how everything had happened without him. He could not even apologize to Jordan now, and he knew no one around would accept his apology now. The older men grasped Jordan's hands. "Okay does anyone have anything they wish to say with her now?" The group rotated to the sleeping woman's ear whispering their last love into her inactive mind and returning to their original positions. Max kissed his little girl for the last time, he leaned in leaving a soft trace on her forehead, nose, and the beauty mark to the side of her mouth, and she had always loved that affection from her mother and father. She would exclaim that her mark was her smile button and a kiss was sure to activate it. Finally Garrett leaned in placing his forehead to hers and remembering so much so quickly he had to separate from her. "Okay." The needle seemed to be so non threatening but was the final tool to the complete disconnect of Jordan's warmth to their world. He looked around for non verbal confirmation among the family then pushed the needle into her carotid. The air silently eased into his coworker, time seemed so still and silent. Her chest jerked up suddenly it had begun. Her heart attack was beginning. Garrett silenced the machine and they all touch her exposed hands and arms. Her men held her hands in each of their own. Then the glance toward the machine and time she was gone, t.o.d 3:07p.m.


End file.
